There are many things in life that are confusing, but this isn’t one of them. If someone wants to spend time with you and get to know you, they will. I get so many emails from people around this topic, and I really do understand. It hurts when you like someone and you can’t figure out what’s happening. But if it’s right, and both people are feeling it, it’s not going to be a mystery, it’s just going to flow. Do your best to accept that. This happens with friends and colleagues as well. Sometimes someone just doesn’t respond in a way that feels good. Try not to stew over it and torture yourself about why. It may have nothing at all to do with you.

Here are a few ideas:

1. If we’re talking about a romantic interest, don’t jump in the sack with a stranger, and then be surprised when you end up feeling confused, vulnerable, and unsure as to whether you have any “right” to ask questions about where things stand. I don’t say this to you in any kind of judgmental way. If you jumped in the sack with a stranger last night, I love you every bit as much as I did yesterday. I’m simply saying you are precious. Your heart is such a gift. And when you’re reckless with yourself, you are the architect of your own heartache. Love yourself enough to be gentle with your heart. (And respectful of your body, which is your home. It’s where you’ll live for your whole life. A stranger doesn’t belong in your kitchen scrambling your eggs ;)).

2. Be open, honest, kind and fearless when you communicate, whether it’s with a person you dig, a family member, friend, or acquaintance. Sometimes people hesitate to say how they feel because they’re afraid the feelings won’t be reciprocated. That’s a form of avoidance, a refusal to face and accept reality as it is, and a way of keeping yourself stuck. It’s choosing confusion over clarity. You can only manage your side of the street, but do your best to keep your side clean. “There’s a difference between playing and playing games. The former is an act of joy, the latter — an act.” ~ Vera Nazarian

3. There are 7 billion people in the world. You are not going to get along with all of them. Not everyone will see you and receive you as the amazing and unique gift you absolutely are. And that is okay. Walk toward and with those people who do celebrate you. Send love and compassion to those who don’t whenever you can. Life is too short to stand around waiting for the story to unfold. It’s unfolding right now. Walk forward and co-create it.

Sending you love, as I always am! Ally