There’s such a tendency to wait in life. We seem to suffer from this delusion that life is going to start somewhere out in front of us, when “things calm down”, but this is it. Life is happening right here, right now.
Sometimes we put off difficult conversations thinking we’ll wait until the situation is less intense, or hoping that circumstances will magically change on their own. We think we should wait to have a baby until we have our “ducks in a row”—a larger house or more financial stability, and don’t get me wrong. Bringing a human being into the world is a huge responsibility, and you want to be as emotionally and financially prepared as possible. You want to know yourself, and have some sense of your strengths and weaknesses (you’ll get a huge lesson in all that even if you do), but babies need love and stability. They need that a lot more than fancy stuff.
Anyway, the point is there’s never a perfect time to do a challenging thing, whether it means standing up for yourself, ending a relationship that doesn’t feel right, pursuing your dreams with everything you’ve got, committing to your partner, working on shifting a way of being that isn’t serving you, or bringing a person into the world. There is no perfect time.
Life is messy and complicated and unpredictable. You can do your best to find inner steadiness, to follow the pull of your heart, to forge a path that feels right for you. You can learn to communicate honestly and with compassion. You can do your very best not to hurt other people, to consider the impact of your speech, actions, and choices on those closest to you, and to practice empathy. But if you’re waiting for things to be less chaotic or uncertain, you’ll be waiting a very long time, because that’s the name of this game.
You create peace within you, and you can try to create it around you, by inviting people into your life who are also trying to communicate what’s real for them in a kind and loving way. But things change and people change, and life will always surprise you, sometimes in devastating ways, and sometimes in ways that expand your heart more than you could have imagined. We aren’t here to wait. We’re here to play, to explore, to make mistakes, to learn, to grow, to share, to connect, to give. But not to wait. Sending you love, Ally Hamilton
Ally, thank you – this feels very well-timed. There are many things I’ve waited to even let myself think seriously about, let alone take action toward, because of this idea that I haven’t studied/learned/practiced/experienced/mastered/suffered/achieved enough yet. Even in the face of trusted teachers, supervisors, colleagues and mentors telling me, “you should be moving forward and on now, you don’t need any more preparation,” I’ve hung back. Fear of being enough plays a part, for sure, but less and less so in the last couple of months since I committed to a first-thing-in-the-morning meditation practice. The voice of doubt and hesitation has grown faint enough, now, that I’m about to take some big steps in a new direction. Having a (yoga and meditation) practice I can lean into, as well as supportive friends who offer empowering reflections, has been the vital combination which got me here. One without the other would not have been enough. It’s still scary, but I remind myself that other people do this all the time…they take risks, even in chaotic and uncertain times, for the opportunity to grow. I hope your message reaches many, so I will do my part and share. Thank you <3
Glad you aren’t waiting. It’s funny, I totally relate. If we wait to be “ready”, we’ll never share anything!! XOX
remember the song “tired of waiting” by The Kinks? Ha!
HAAA! Yes 🙂
I continue to be in awe of the topics you continue to write about ! You are one amazing lady with great talent and wisdom. I’m so grateful that I connected with your site. Love it (and you) !
Thank you so much, Randy! I’m grateful to know you, too!!! Much love.