“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of disaster, I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.” That would be the beautiful Fred Rogers.

I believe if we lose hope, we lose everything. If we shrug our shoulders and shake our heads and walk away deciding the problems are just too big to solve, then we are in real trouble. If we are afraid to stand up and fight back, then I worry. And yes, no matter how peaceful you are, sometimes you must fight. Fight like Arjuna on the battlefield. Fight against your desire to go back to sleep, to numb out, to deny, to distance or distract yourself. Fight against anything that is preventing you from tapping that enormous well of love you have within you. Fight against the idea that it is too hard to figure out how to lend a hand, an ear, a shoulder, anything you’ve got to help someone who is in need. Or to help someone who’s just fine. We could all do with more love and more light.

I worry when people are afraid to have a conversation about where we are and where we need to go for fear we are feeding the epidemic of violence. I’ve seen people saying we should stop talking about what happened because it will encourage other mentally ill people to act out. But I do not believe ignoring the problem is the answer. We’ve tried that. People who are mentally ill are motivated by all kinds of things. The desire to be famous, even for something heinous, may be one of them. But to suggest we shouldn’t weep for the loss of life unless we’re directly affected is exactly the problem. We are directly affected. And this issue won’t resolve itself if we stop talking about it and walk away. It’ll come back to bite us harder. Do you have a child, are you someone’s child, do you have brothers or sisters with children? Do you live on this planet which is being eaten alive by wars and greed and the desire for dominance? It may be easier for a parent to grasp the incomprehensible loss of a child, but none of us, not one of us ought to feel we aren’t connected to the families who are grieving. I live with a six-year old, so maybe the enormity and incomprehensibility of the loss is in my face. I also went to the funeral of a six-year old family member many years ago. I know what that tiny coffin looks like, and I know what it feels like to have your whole being filled with “No, not this.” So I will keep weeping until all the tears are out. I will do whatever I can to lend a hand. I will feed a loving voice as I move through my days, and I will teach my children about compassion. I’ll write letters and sign petitions, and I will keep going in the hope that one voice makes a difference, and in the knowledge that many voices get it done. What we need is empathy and love. We need to extend ourselves and recognize we are a family. We need to stand up and say, “Enough.” It IS enough, don’t you think? We need to figure out how to love each other and help each other and support and accept and respect each other. To listen with attention, and not to hold our breath and our thought until it’s our turn to speak. To open our minds and our hearts and to understand we don’t have to agree on everything to work together, to heal. We’ve separated ourselves from each other, and it’s the most unnatural thing in the world.

It’s not easy to sit with pain and lean into it. But if you want to heal, there’s no way around it, under it or over it. You just have to open to it. Let it wash over you and through you until you are so familiar with it, it doesn’t have power over you anymore. It’s the things we push down and deny that keep coming back. Usually they come back harder, because it’s exhausting to repress stuff. To deny reality. To ignore the truth. Be a helper. Do the work to heal yourself so you have access to all that light within you, and then shine it all over the place. Because we really need as many people shining as possible at this point. We need to bust down the walls and burn down the bridges and hug each other, love each other, look into each other’s eyes and say, “I’m sorry. We can do better than this.” And then we need to go do it. I won’t stop talking. I won’t stop doing whatever I can to spread some love and some light. I will not walk away, and I hope you won’t, either. Sending you so much love, and sending love everywhere it’s needed, which is everywhere. But right now, I’m still sending extra to Connecticut, and I will be for quite some time. Ally