One thing I know for certain is that you cannot outrun your feelings. You can certainly try; people do it all the time. But, as Jon Kabat-Zinn so profoundly put it, “Wherever you go, there you are”.
The depth of our lives and the way we relate to everyone and everything is directly related to our ability and willingness to open to things as they are, which is not always as we want them to be. Sometimes you will stand right smack in the middle of joy, and other times you will stand in the eye of grief. Those profound losses are like hurricanes. They tear everything down, knock everything over and leave us shaken, cold, and struggling to breathe. The landscape looks different, barren, colorless. The eyes burn as the wind rages on. There’s no north or south, everywhere you turn it looks the same. To stand and be the soul of that place takes courage. It takes an inner knowing, a realization that the heart can hold limitless love and it can also withstand shattering pain.
Denying or avoiding what you’re feeling is a sure way to disconnect from the flow of life. It’s the path toward drowning out your intuition. It’s the same as throwing your compass overboard when you’re out to sea and need it more desperately than ever. Wherever you stand, be the soul of that place. If you’re standing in your kitchen and are suddenly overcome, let it happen, open to it. If you run, it will catch up with you and hit you in the face, in all your exhaustion and vulnerability. Knowing yourself is not something you can avoid if you want to be at peace. Accepting and acknowledging your pain is the only way to release the heat of it.
If you’re lucky enough to stand with your child on a sunny day, on a windy day, on a rainy, thunderous ANY day, stand there all the way. When you’re with those people in your life who know you, who love you, who see you and root for you, be there. Nothing is promised. None of us knows how long we have. How many hugs we get. How many moments we’ll be gifted to say what’s in our hearts. I really wouldn’t wait. If there’s a song in your heart, I would sing it, today, right now. If there’s a call you need to make, or a letter you need to write, today is the day. This is your life, it’s happening right in this moment. Please make it beautiful. Truthful, open, compassionate. Let the you of you rise up and flow out of every cell in your body. Sending you so much love, Ally